ESPN created a baseball lineup out of the cast of the show since tonight is the big 2-hour finale tonight! Being an avid fan of Lost I loved this list and just had to share it with everyone else.
Batting Order:
1. Sayid Jarrah, LF
Not only does he have deceptive quickness, but his experience as an interrogator helps him tell what a pitcher is going to throw just by reading his eyes. Oh, and by hooking the pitcher's nipples up to electrodes. That helps too. By the time the second batter comes up, the pitcher is pretty taxed already.
2. Kate Austin, 2B
A superior athlete with the ability to improvise at the plate no matter the situation, her only real downside is that once she gets on base she's unable to commit to a single direction.
3. Jack Shephard, SS
Like it or not (and many fans don't) Jack is the team leader. His defense is iffy and his bat isn't what it once was, but management is paying him the big bucks so, damn it, he's going to play shortstop. Think a tormented Derek Jeter.
4. Ben Linus, C
A wizard behind the plate, Linus has an uncanny ability to have a pitcher shake off his signs only when he wants them to shake it off. Equally important is his ability to get the batters to second-guess themselves. The weak spot in Linus' game? For some reason, it seems as though he hits into double-plays on purpose, as if he's playing for the other team.
5. Hugo "Hurley" Reyes, DH
In addition to his bat, Hurley's other major asset is heading into the stands and sharing a few hot dogs with the fans while the rest of the team is on the field. Because he's fat. And likely over eats.
6. Desmond Hume, 3B
From Scotland, Desmond had no idea how to play baseball until management told him they'd locate his love Penny if he hits .400 in a season. This wouldn't be a problem—love conquers all, ya know?—if Desmond would only show up to the games on time.
7. Sun-Hwa Kwon, RF
The Korean import has a wide array of skills, most of which she usually keeps hidden until needed. One skill that's no longer hidden is her ability to speak English, which not only helps the team's PR but also allows her to respond to the hecklers who are constantly criticizing her for playing while extremely pregnant.
8. Michael Dawson, CF
An adequate if overly dramatic player, Michael has the odd quirk of calling off other outfielders by loudly shouting, "Waaaaaalt!"
9. Charlie Pace, 1B
The Good: Helps attendance by bringing in scores of fans. The Bad: The fans are all teenage girls who bring an annoying Beatlemania atmosphere to the park. The Ugly: They're screaming less because of Charlie's musical prowess and more because there's a corpse at 1st base.
Starting Rotation:
John Locke
An old pro who seems to get into trouble every inning but somehow wiggle out of it, Locke's confidence on the mound is unmatched, except if he decides to wear that silly hairpiece and pretend he's twenty years younger, which happens every 3rd start or so.
James "Sawyer" Ford
A junk ball pitcher, if an umpuire ever examined him on the mound they'd find a jar of Vaseline, some tar under the brim of his cap, eight different kinds of sandpaper and maybe a dirty magazine or two. Of course, the umpires don't dare question him because of the gun in his belt.
Juliet Burke
A newcomer to the roster, Juliet intimidates batters with her brand of "effective wildness"; they don't know whether to root for her or against her, or if they're even really that interested at all. But the real reason why her opponents are so befuddled is because they're still trying to figure out why a fertility doctor has such great hand-to-hand combat skills.
Christian Shephard
Owner of the best curveball in the league, it's a good thing Christian gets a lot of strikeouts, seeing as son Jack is too busy (poorly) holding back tears to play capable defense behind him.
Aaron gets this roster spot based entirely on projecting that he's important to the storyline. Which he better damn well be!
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