The 20 Worst Football Cliches

20) “We have to take it one game at a time.”

19) “Crabtree makes a circus catch.”

18) “The other team just wanted it more.”

17) “They left it all on the field.”

16) “He’s deceptively quick.”

15) “McCoy’s going to feel that one in the morning.”

14) “They are better than their record indicates.”

13) “He has a motor that won’t quit.”

12) “He really gives 110 percent.”

11) “There seemed to be a miscommunication on that play.”

10) “We have to play a full 60 minutes.”

No, you have to play like three and half hours minus TV timeouts, halftime, and the occasional stoppage for a drunk skinny naked guy running onto the field who apparently can’t say no to a dare.



9) “Boeckman would like to have that one back.”

Yeah, I have a list of things I’d like to take back as well.

1) Trying baking chocolate thinking it was real chocolate when I was eight.

2) Seeing the movie King Ralph starring John Goodman in the theaters.

3) Three words: convenience store burrito.

I have 94 other ones—how much time does everyone have?



8) “They have to take care of the football.”

It’s true. I’ll never forget the first time a Duke Jr. football followed me home after school one day. I asked my mom if I could keep it. She said yes on the stipulation that I had to take care of it. I did for a while, but honestly, after a few months, my dad ended up feeding it and walking it.

Then about a year later, after an errant pass in a game of three-flies-in, the ball jumped out in front of a car. There was nothing the driver could’ve done.

Soon after, my parents bought me a Voit to help ease the grieving process.



7) “This Mountaineer defense is going to ‘pin their ears back’ on this next play.”

Why would anyone pin their ears back? Is it because they have big ears and they are afraid that they won’t get asked to the Barn Hill Dance? Maybe it’s time to teach that defense about self-esteem and the fact that you just have to be happy with who you are on the inside.



6) “He has a quick first step.”

After that, he stops cold out of sheer terror. He was first team All-Freeze Tag back in third grade.



5) “The Sooner defense bends but doesn’t break.”

I am so guilty of this one. I’ll try to do better. Please offer me alternatives. What about this defense teases but doesn’t put out?

Too racy?



4) “This QB is a real gunslinger.”

I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. Billy Blanks tried that in the beginning of The Last Boy Scout, and even though he scored I’m pretty sure there was a flag or two on the play. Unless, of course, the game was played at Auburn.



3) “Arenas is a downhill runner.”

Now that’s just unfair. What a home field advantage that would be! A stadium with a hill at midfield or at the goal line. Of course, that would justify, ”It’s an uphill battle.”

I would love to see a strong safety get a downhill running start at a WR and knock him 30 yards down an incline. Thank goodness for forward progress, eh?



2) “Sanchez has all day to throw it.”

If the opposing team has all day to throw it, then might I suggest a different defensive strategy? In fact, I think it would be awesome if one day an announcer got very literal with this one.

“Man, Verne, Snead seemed to have like eight seconds in the pocket on that play. Maybe it was closer to seven, but it sure seemed like a long time. Well, not a long time relatively speaking, but in football pocket passing terms a long time.”

My favorite variation of this is, “Stafford has all the time in the world.”

Whoa, is he immortal or something? I’d be texting my friends, “Gary Danielson just said Matthew Stafford is a Highlander.”



1) “That guy’s a throwback.”

Usually referred to when talking about slow white guys who try really hard. You know, the kind of guy that “brings his lunch pail” to work every day.

I promise you, this guy is not a throwback unless he plays without a facemask, protective padding, and with a half-torn ACL. If this guy makes it to the NFL and accepts a 1970s NFL salary, then fine, that guy can be a throwback.

Top 20 Worst Football Cliches